Just an Update

Good morning all, not much to say today.  There aren't really any significant updates going on today.  Just finished some breakfast which was banging and it got me to thinking.  I remember when I was incredibly uneducated when I started.  I would wake up and eat a minimal amount for breakfast.  I wanted to keep my calories low so I would have a bagel, most times white (not whole wheat or whole grain) with cream cheese and a cup of coffee.  Looking back it is almost funny how stupid and ignorant that was!

Breakfast IS in fact the most important meal of the day.  It is called breakfast because you are BREAKING a FAST.  Think about it, if you are eating small frequent meals throughout the day or even three big meals throughout the day, when is your body going more than 4-5 hours with out food at the most.  When you sleep you are not eating for an average of 8 Hours!  Your body needs that food as soon as possible!  Breakfast ideas can be so simple and so easy, yet absolutely delicious!  I have honestly come to love my breakfast in the morning and I love looking up new ideas to try.

Here are my "southwest eggs" from this morning:

1 whole egg

3 egg whites

1/2 cup red pepper

1/2 cup onion

1 cup mushrooms

1/2 cup black beans

1/4 mexican blend cheese

BOOM!

I am continuing with my cardio acceleration program.  Today is leg day and I am pretty excited for that.  I like how the workouts are broken up into mutli joint for one day during the week and then you hit single joint later in the week.  Like I have said a million times(but I will beat a dead horse) everything is out there, you just gotta do your homework!  Just to play off of that, yesterday I was trying box shuffles for the first time.  I set the step up and did my first set of tricep push and then went to do the skip and completely jacked it up, probably looked like the biggest fool.  I took a deep breath, put my foot back on the bench and nailed it and probably had the goofiest smile on my face for that minute of cardio acceleration.  The "old" me would have quit the first time I screwed it up or better yet, probably would have never tried it in fear of failure.  It's weird the "confidence" boost you get(I put quotes because I don't know if that's what it is but it's the best I can come up with).  So don't be scared, try something new!  If you fail, brush it off, watch the video demo over and try it again!!

Last night I attended a running clinic at my gym which was pretty good.  Some of the info I already had and it didn't surprise me to hear some of the ignorant questions coming from others in the group.  I am just happy that they were there to learn some of their mistakes and how to fix them, just as I did!

I am getting super excited to get out on my bike here in the coming weeks and really start cranking out some miles.  The most important thing I took away from last night was to not over train your body.  I was told this before but it really got drilled into my brain last night.  It is going to be hard for me because in my sick head right now I love training and pushing myself to the limit, just gotta be very careful!

Still working on that mental block of getting my body up to speed with where my head is, but I am really starting to see results and I am digging it big time.  Its an amazing feeling when you start to see what you have been working for.  Regardless of what it is you are working towards, when you start to see those results you will know the feeling I am talking about!  Give me a call, we will have a drink and celebrate together cause I know how good it feels too!

Today is a beautiful day and I am going to figure out a way to get out and enjoy it somehow!  You all should do the same!  I may bust out the new jump rope I bought and kill two birds with one stone!(no I do not know how to jump rope....) So what better way to start that teach myself outside!  Hope you all enjoy your day and nice weather!

All For now
Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself

PS apparently I had a lot more to say than I thought ;)

Changes, Changes, and more CHANGES!

So it is Saturday May 11, 2013...I can't believe how this week flew by and with summer on our heels I know that the weeks are only going to go faster and faster.  This is quite alright with me because I am the type of person who does not like to wait for things that I know are coming and are so close.  I cannot wait to be in a spot where I am comfortable with my body(yes I am getting there, more about that later) and I also can't wait for my race in September.

It is getting to be that time where I don't feel like I am up to speed with my friends.  Everyone is talking about their awesome job opportunities, graduation, and etc.  Me you ask?  I still have classes to take over the summer, Exams to take for my certification and so much more.  As they have all these things to be excited about I feel like I have to take the back seat because I don't have anything nearly as exciting going on right now.  Stop! Before you even say it, yes I know my time will come.  If I had a dollar for every time I heard that or something like it, I wouldn't need to look for a job upon graduation.  I am just venting, which is the point of this blog and this outlet...

So it's Saturday, why aren't I out with these friends I speak of?  Well I don't go out much anymore, if at all.  It isn't because I don't like to have a good time, I love having a good time just as much as the next guy.  I had an AMAZING time last weekend from the minute I left work on Friday to the minute I woke up on Monday morning.  I do however limit my drinking to little or none, which stems from multiple reasons.  If you read through previous posts, you know that alcohol really isn't my friend.  Yes I can have a drink and enjoy the social aspect of having a drink.  I do not have an interest to go to the bar anymore and get blackout silly however and I am still working on finding that balance.  It is a little scary... The other day I was driving and I started to reflect(me THINKING?! no never).  There was a point last year where I went to a family party...let me stress a family party.  All i could think of was getting drunk.  Not just drunk and laughing and having a good time with family, but getting DRUNK.  I found my self sneaking around and hiding drinks etc so no one knew how much I had to drink.  That's a little scary if you look back on it.  The good thing that came of it however was that I can look back now and say, no I am not going back to the way I was.  Do I have to run away from drinking and having a good time? No but I need to work on finding that balance.

Now on to today!  Today was a great day from start to finish as well.  Is it any surprise that these good days are coming more often and more natural now?  Probably not.  Today I was at work and it felt like all of my parents of my students were noticing me.  I got so MANY compliments and it felt amazing!  They were raining their praise on my and I loved it, then again who doesn't love a good compliment now and again?!?!

As for my workout...WOW!! That is all I have to say.  It was simply amazing!  I love the cardio acceleration aspect.  People have been looking at me like I am nuts and that makes me go even harder.  When I left I snapped a couple pics as I have been doing throughout this journey just to keep track of where I was and how far I have come.  For the first time I looked at them and could really see a difference.  I can see my body changing and transforming into something new and it is so rewarding.  Finally!  All the hard work and hours spent in the gym and kitchen are paying off!  My mom actually laughed at me a little when I reached for my scale to measure out dinner for tonight.  After she was done laughing she said I guess that's why you have been so successful at this!  This is so true!  I have become dedicated to what I am doing and I am ok with the people who laugh at it.  At the end of the day I am doing something I love and something I am proud of and that is all that matters.

I also took my Praxis II exam which is a step towards being done.  I am awaiting the official results from it and it is unsettling.  I finished the test very quickly (they schedule you for 2.5 hours but it took me about 1).  This could be a good sign, because I have learned in my assessment class that if you know the material and it is a well designed test, it shouldn't take you long.   Let's keep our fingers crossed I am one step closer to being able to go out and help children!

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I will be up and out early getting coffee and flowers for mom before I am off to work for the day.  Gotta take care of the people who support you!  The people who support you in whatever it may be that you are doing will become your "ride or die" crew and you will see how important they are. 

Whatever you are doing, do it to your absolute best.  Know that you are not alone in your fight and there is someone, somewhere who has gone through what you are going through and they are willing to help!

All for now
Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself

Inspiration? Must Have the Wrong Guy

Today is Friday! YEEEEE!!  Hard to believe it is May for one.  Also hard to believe I am wrapping up my last semester as an undergrad....Honestly can't wait to get the F out of here!  The weather today is absolutely beautiful and it is the first day I am able to wear flip flops so needless to say my little heart is all kinds of happy.

Started a new program yesterday that incorporates cardio acceleration and it is an incredible workout.  You are constantly moving the whole time and I have had a blast the past two days doing it!  People look at you a little weird when you run in place after you just pumped out a set, but I am not all that worried about it haha.  Maybe someone will ask about it and then they can learn something new, that would be cool!

SO down to the nitty gritty of this post.  YESTERDAY!  I wanted to write this post so bad last night because I feel like I will miss something now but I was slammed at work and I just didn't get around to it.  It was my last class with a professor who I have had a bond with since the minute I met her.  We just hit it off and we got along really well and I have enjoyed every class with her since two semesters ago.  She was giving me flack for not wearing my medal for her on Tuesday so I wore my broad street shirt for her.  So I said to her "Look I wore my shirt just for you!"  She breaks into a conversation with me about that race and my upcoming race in September....Someone interested in something I'M doing??  Hmmm interesting but I'll go with it. 

Someone in the class over heard our conversation and jumped in..TWO people now interested in what I'm doing!  So we just hung-out and talked about races and everything in between.  They both asked me to keep things updated on Facebook and let them know how the training is going.  Molly even said she would come to the race! That was super cool, if you read the Broad Street Run post you'll know that having people there for you is very powerful.  Just before I left my professor said I think it's awesome what you're doing and it is really INSPIRATIONAL... There is that word again! Me? No way, I am just having a good time enjoying my life Dr. J!

So after class I went home, packed my cooler, grabbed my water jug and headed over to the gym.  Hit the workout and then made my way down to the pool to start work(I am a swim instructor and yes I love it).  So as I was getting my things together for my students I had my whey and my BCAA for post workout.  Mind you I am not into crazy test boosters, and this crap and that.  I stick with the basics here.  So naturally this chick walks out of the office(can't stand her FYI) and sees that I have two shakers on the table.  So she starts to give me crap... I am just trying to enjoy my chicken and recover real quick before I get in the pool and she has gotta give me flack about my shakers, REALLY?!  So I just brush it off and continue to enjoy my delicious food...

Side not here, the girl who is in charge of inservice is sitting at the table as well.  Mind you when I started working here I was in a bit of a bad spot, so I may or may not have been a total ass. Just sayin... So I didn't get off on the best foot with this chick...

Anyway she starts to stick up for me.......WAIT WHAT?! If I said this girl hated my guts at one point and time it would be and understatement.  Now all of the sudden she is sticking up for me and saying how its pretty cool how I have a plan and stick to it when it comes to my nutrition....Wait for it... "He's pretty inspiring..." AND AGAIN!!  at this point I just don't even know what to do with myself.  So not only do two people think that I am in some way shape or form inspiring but the only chick legit hated me and now has respect for me!  It was just an all around amazing feeling.  Call me crazy, guess what, I DON'T CARE we have already come to the conclusion that everyone is crazy in some way shape or form.  Embrace it and love it for what it is!

So aside from this exciting news(I mean I thought it was cool so that's all that matters) there is not much else going on.  Class around 2, then off to work for the night.  Work tomorrow in the morning and then my Praxis II exam at 1 in the afternoon(feeling indifferent about that).  If I pass then I pass, if not oh well, get em again tomorrow. 

Thanks for reading, if you read, if not thanks for stopping by.  Have a great weekend and make someone smile today :)

All for now
Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself

**Edit**

See didn't I tell you that I would forget something! And for me it was the coolest part of this whole day and I somehow still forgot it!!

Anyway, there is a guy who works out at my gym and he's ripped, to say the least... I am not quite sure what he does, he's there a lot mid day or early afternoon, drives a beautiful Benz and is covered in tattoos. Did I mention he also has a sneaker collection? We aren't just talking a few pairs here, I'm talking every pair of Jays that come out, he has em. Anyway I digress. So he noticed the other day that I had cut weight which was cool in and of it self. When I was talking with him I told him I was doing Broad Street. So when I saw him after the race he asked how it went. I told him real well and I finished in 1:38 and some seconds. So he asked again how long it was. I'll remind you that he is covered in tattoos so there isn't much he cares about haha. He says "are you f'ing kidding me? That's so awesome dude, I ran like 2.5 miles the other day and it took me about 30 mins. I respect that!"  Why not just take an air pump and stick it right in my ear and turn it on. Here I am thinking man this dude is ripped up, I wanna be like that and in the same breath he thinks something I did was awesome!  What and incredible feeling that was I must say!  Just wanted to add this because it was so awesome for me. 

Thanks =]

Abercrombie Just Wants to Be "Cool"

Where do I even begin....I found this article on Facebook via a post from someone and I was completely dumbfounded when I read it.  As someone who wore a size XXL at one point and time and someone who bounced around all over with pants sizes, I'm offended to be honest. 

The fact that the CEO only hires "good" looking people in his store cracks me up to begin with.  I don't know about anyone else who is reading this but I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  I can go out with my friends and we will all think different people are good looking and we may not agree on one person being good looking to us the entire night.  I have one friend in particular who I can go out with and know that we would never chase the same girl because our tastes are that different.  I would like to make a quick comparison to put in in perspective.  Does everyone you know truly love Indian food?  Probably not, but does that mean it isn't good? NO!

The next thing that gave me a real chuckle is that he "justifies" having XL and XXL sizes for men because he wants to appeal to the athletic built males.  Has anyone seen the athletic guys who shop in this store.....

Right because this is my role model, I want to be exactly like the Situation....

This article frustrates me on so many levels, but mostly because of the pressure it puts on girls.  People may argue with this fact but I think it is a prime example of girls receiving more pressure than guys to look a certain way.  The guys who wear XL and XXL can still shop in this store but girls who wear that size for a variety of reasons can't? I remember going shopping and not being able to find jeans and having to take the walk of shame to the counter because I had to order them and have them shipped to my house.  It was absolutely humiliating....however it shouldn't be about that. 

Society and other people should not decide for you how YOU should look.  This is ultimately a choice for you to make.  Don't ever listen to someone when they tell you that you have to do something or be a certain way.  If you are anything like me, you will push back and not do it, just to spite them.  It can be an ugly circle that no one wants to be apart of.  This is about much more than the clothing or looking a certain way though.  Ultimately your choices are yours and they should remain just that.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that you have to/should do something that you don't agree with.  No one told me that I needed to start doing anything.  Everything I put on this website is something that I wanted to do and it makes things that much more rewarding.  I urge you to find something YOU want to do and do it to its fullest(is that hypocritical?).

Supporting a company that bases its values on something like this is not something I will do and I plan to tell every person who I know about this.  I urge you to do the same because this is just ridiculous to me.  Please leave thoughts or comments below because I would love to hear what people have to say about this. 



All for now...

Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself!

Stop Saying I Wish and Start Saying I DID!

So here it is, the moment you have all been waiting for....(drum roll please) the play by play from Sunday's "race."  So where do I start? Naturally I have no idea where to start because I feel like I say a million things but never get my point across...

So as you may or may not know I got into the city on Saturday after work, some time around 4pm or 4:30.  I got all checked in, took my cooler upstairs and no fridge!  For $500 a night plus parking I was a little heated to say the least.  Well I got my fridge and jumped in the shower because I had to hop on the subway and meet Melissa for our carb loaded dinner.  I gave you most of the story about my city slicker "skills" but in case you missed it, I bought $20 worth of subway tokens to later find out I only needed two and I stuck out like a sore thumb haha!  I made it to temple campus and had a nice pasta dinner before I returned to my hotel room for the night.

So Sunday morning arrives and I am like a kid on Christmas morning.  I can't wait to get up and get going!  I rolled out of bed and laid out all my clothes for the race.  I went to grab my breakfast that I had prepared because there was no way I was going to eat the hotel breakfast.  Side note I try to prepare all my meals and cook all my own food because it is huge during this transformation and journey.  Well my breakfast way frozen from the stupid fridge the front desk sent up.  So I some how choked down my frozen protein pancakes and drank my cup off coffee and then it was back to the subway to get to the race.  The subway ride was free with my bib so I didn't need one of the 17 tokens I had in my bag...

I got to the course and found Melissa and it was just a waiting game from there.  We were standing around and just waiting to get going and for some reason I was pretty calm relatively speaking.  Aside from the fact that I was standing at my FIRST starting carol for my FIRST race, I was pretty calm and just ready to get going.  I did some dynamic stretching and cued up my tunes and I was ready to roll.  Then the commotion started...people yelling, clapping and getting all kinds of excited.  Our coral started to move up and Melissa looked at me and said "Well...you ready?!?!"  The only thing I could think to say was "As ready as I could be."  Hahaha how lame is that?!?! We got to the line and "Sweet Caroline" was blasting through the speakers, here we go!

And off we went! We hit our first mile somewhere around 9:30 and I was hyped.  I had been told my first mile was going to take upwards of 12:00 due to the amount of people.  From there we just kept trucking.  Hitting just about every water station we could.  Before I knew it we were at the Temple campus and we got some love from Melissa's roommate and John(the guy who's spot I took, I was a little surprised her boyfriend wasn't in the group to cheer her on though).  We were in the zone and I was loving every second of it.  The amount of energy throughout this race was incredible.  The people who lined the course were AMAZING!!  They were high-fiving and cheering you along every step of the way.  Something that is still sitting with me came around mile 5.  My phone beeped for a text and I am thinking to myself what the heck is this?!?!  It was a text from one of my friends, the first and only that I got that day.  She wished me good luck and said she hoped I was had a good race day.  This gave me an incredible sense of energy.

After mile 5 hit, I was just about in my zone and I knew I was going to finish.  I wanted to hit my time of 1:30:00 so bad but Melissa did not want to push her knee which I completely understood.  We hit the CVS on broad street and the crowd was a little more thin than I thought...then it hit me.....I was going to see my family!  Well we approached mile marker 9 and I think the entire city of Philadelphia could hear my mother screaming.  I looked over on to the side walk and I could see her jumping as high as she could, screaming, clapping and grinning ear to ear.  Everyone was there to cheer on that last mile.  I gave my mother a high five and started to get tears in my eyes(thank god I had sunglasses on).  She was so proud and I could see it shinning through.  It was 8 months of hard work, sweat, pressure, fight, everything summed up into one powerful, magnificent moment that I could never put into words.  It meant the world to me to get that high five at the start of that final mile.  She got it....

Here I am, post high five from mom, getting ready to crush my final mile.  Glad you couldn't see the tears.

It was on the last mile and we crushed it!!  It was our fastest mile of the race and it felt awesome.  I threw my arms up as I crossed the finish, or at least it felt that way in my head.  WE DID IT!!!  It was into the navy yard to collect our medals and get some much needed food.  We grabbed out stuff and stretched out a little bit.

Here is a picture of Melissa and I, go figure I could release the grip on my soft pretzel to put it down for the pic!  From there we stretched a little more and headed for the subway to start our journey home.

One of the last things I will share with you all is this picture of Melissa that my grandfather snagged.

The smile on her face just about says it all for the entire day.  Let me just tell you that this chick was absolutely amazing from start to finish.  She kept me going and I think I did the same for her.  At one point she looked at me and said "I never thought you would be doing this let alone be the one pushing us to run faster!"  She was simply amazing through the entire thing and I can't thank her enough.  I am so thankful to have a friend like her in my life and I couldn't ask for a better one!

The last thing I will share branches off of Melissa's comment.  I used to be that person who would sit and wait and wish.  I always wished I was someone else, or had the courage to do something that someone else was doing.  I thought about it today and the reason I wore my medal all day yesterday was because somewhere along the line someone looked at me and thought, man he did The Broad Street Run, I wish I could do that.  My final thought to you is STOP!!  Stop saying I wish and start saying I did.  I never thought in a million years that I would be doing something so amazing, but that high five from mom and crossing that finish line were the two most rewarding things I have ever received.  Put your mind to something, go out, and get it DONE!!  The only person holding you back from what you want is YOU!   It doesn't have to be a race, or a tri, or anything athletic for that matter.  My goal is to reach as many people as I possibly can and show them that anything you want, is possible.....

Thank you to everyone who reads this and I hope you enjoy.

All for now....

Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself

It's Monday, What Else is New?

Just as the title says, it's Monday....weather sucks, I am very over school at this point and I am extremely grumpy, can ya tell?!  Morning class was a waste of my time today.  I got absolutely nothing accomplished.  I have been in the library for about 3 hours now and again, nothing has really resulted in it.

So I am sure you are all(that is sarcasm because I don't know if anyone even sees this) wondering about the race yesterday...well I am sorry but I am reserving that for a separate post because I would like to wait until I get some pictures to share etc.

I don't have much to say about today, I have a short fuse and I am just not in the mood to deal with people.  I want to go workout but my body is still sore and recovering.  If i have learned anything it is that you need to listen to your body, SUPER IMPORTANT!  I can barely keep my eyes open and I am in class until probably at least 6:30 in not later.

There are so many things I want to say about yesterday but I am trying super hard to save them all for a specific post on just the run.  I will say that I have been messaging back and forth with this old friend of mine and I am starting to get scared.  Very scared to be perfectly honest.  I can feel things resurfacing and it is quite possibly the most frightening thing in the world for me.  I don't want to get hurt again and I know there is no way my body can physically or mentally take that amount of pain again.  However I find myself constantly wondering.....all the what if's and but's etc are beginning to kill me and I don't like it at all.  I sit and wait for messages on my phone and wonder whats going on between them, but I don't know if I like it or not.  One thing is for sure, I need to be very very careful and very cautious about what I am doing.  I still have a lot of doubts and a lot of unanswered questions and I cannot let myself become trapped...

The last thing I will share is an experience I had yesterday, not related to the run.  A woman who lives down the street came up and was talking with my parents.  She looked across the room at me and then asked my mom where I was...she's got a screw loose that's for sure.  However she asked me why I was doing this? What possessed me to start this and keep going.  Honestly I HATE this question more than anything in the world.  Why you may ask?  Because whenever the question is asked, I can't give an honest answer to the person who is asking it, no matter who it may be.  I have been asked this question multiple times before and after a long awkward pause, I spit out some generic answer about how I wanted to get in shape and blah blah blah.  Mind you this answer is not a lie, yes I wanted to get in shape, that is absolutely true.  It is the part I leave out that is probably more important. 

So why? Why did I do it you ask?  Well things got bad, they got bad fast and by bad, well bad is probably and understatement.  I was spinning out of control pretty fast and pretty hard, that's for sure.  I discovered a mixture of things, between alcohol pills and whatever else worked to basically knock me out until I had to wake up the next day and face the reality that was my life.  I had lost the one person who I thought understood me, I felt lied to and deceived, taken advantage of, and I figured there was basically nothing left so F it.  I continued on the freight train rolling down hill for months.  Fake it til you make it eh?  Well i was getting damn good at faking.

It was at the end of the summer, after my birthday that I decided I needed to make a change.  I went to a friends wedding and got all kinds of sloppy and I knew that was enough.  I didn't know where to start or what to do or who to call.  It was hard but at that point I really felt like I had no one.  I felt as though everyone had turned against me for multiple reasons.  My relationship with this person was slightly frowned upon by on lookers lets just say.  So in turn I felt like when it ended I had no one because she was gone and the people who I had before were gone because I went against them to be with her.  So of the few people who I still had left among them was a very good friend, one who is still part of this journey today.  He gave me  some small things to start working on and has been building me up every single day.  Dude is amazing and I will swear to this day that he probably saved my life.

When I started I didn't know what I was doing, where I was going or anything to be honest.  What I did know was that I needed a change and I needed it fast or I was going to end up dead.  So I just started going to the gym and following what he told me to do.  By the time January rolled around another friend was home and he joined the gym where I work out.  He started a program and asked me to do it with him and I continued with the changes.  I just followed the plan and stuck to it, it sounds so simple, but everything you need to know is out there somewhere, you just have to put in the time and do your homework.  Every time I left the gym I felt better than the time before and even better than when I walked in the door.  Honestly if it weren't for that place I have no idea where I would be.  My friends have been an incredible support system and I couldn't ask for better people in my life.  Some of them think I am crazy and most of them make fun of me but they don't know any of the things that I just stated above.  I guess if they did they would think twice before making fun of me for not wanting to go to the bar....oh well

So why did I start?  Because I wasn't ready to become a statistic whether it be from death, obesity, etc. I wasn't going to do it.  I started because I knew something was wrong and I knew I needed a change.  Do I stand at the mountain tops screaming that I "beat it" no....do I tell everyone how much I've lost or how far I have come, nope...I just continue on my journey and keep to myself.  I am enjoying where I am right now.  I feel like I have lost a few friends but I have also gained a few.  Time goes on and people do change, if someone is meant to be a part of you life they certainly will.

I apologize for the depressing post but there were some things I needed to get out there and obviously this is the place where I have begun to do that and I will continue to do it.  If you actually read this, I thank you because you are the encouragement I need.  If this helps you, share it with someone who it might help.  Helping each other is the most important thing we can do.  I received help when I needed it the most and I am going to do anything in my power to help someone who needs it.  You CAN make the change that you want and it IS 100% possible.  You have my word.  It may not happen over night but the harder you work at something the more satisfying that reward will be at the end.

Stay tuned for my post on the race.  Thanks for reading.

Until next time
Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself

Broad Street Run Here I Come!

Well D Day has arrived! Or should I say will be here shortly.  After a few debacles on the subway trying to get to my friends apartment I find myself sitting in my hotel room trying to get into my zone and get focused for my race tomorrow and yet I am all over the place.

If you have been following my blog at all I am sure you may or may not have read about my encounter with an old friend I had a few weeks back.  Well last night we met up again.  I was dog sitting for a friend and I actually initiated our meeting this time.  I asked her to come over and have a glass on wine with me on the deck after work.  She responded and asked if I would like her to bring sushi, which naturally was a yes because I love sushi!  So we hung out for the night and she ended up staying with me that night.  It was amazing to have her with me again and all of my feelings returned immediately.  This is good and bad for me in so many ways.  I do not know what to do about it so I have turned to my blog which is becoming a big part of my life surprisingly.

Tomorrow is going to be interesting for me on so many levels....most people have been making fun of me or giving me flack for the changes I have made since September.  Some of my friends don't understand it, but also don't really try.  They just give me beef for not wanting to go to the bar anymore.  When I cross the finish line tomorrow it won't be all bells and roses like I had wished for.  I will have my parents there who are for sure proud of me and I can see that.  My grandmother also made it a point to tell me that she will be there no matter what and she is going to see me run.  I didn't have the heart to explain that there will be 40,000 other grand-moms there to see someone.  Nonetheless, the people who I want to be there, won't.  It's a little sobering but it isn't stopping me from doing what I want to do because I am doing it for one person and one person only, MYSELF.  I am proving to myself that I CAN be that person who I said I wanted to be so many times. 

Aside from this I am in the city of Brotherly Love and it's great, I love it here.  I am not a city slicker and I stick out like a sore thumb here right now.  The second I walked out of the parking garage the guy next to me asked if I knew where I was going!  I didn't think I stuck out that bad haha!

My nerves are starting to kick in big time for multiple reasons.  I just want to go out and be successful tomorrow.  If you are reading this you might as well what is successful for me tomorrow?  I am not really sure either.  I would like to finish between and hour and half to an hour and forty-five minutes.  This would be HUGE!  I have never wanted something this bad!  It funny because I was talking with a guy on my way back to the subway and he asked how long I had been running for.  I have only been running since November and I am set to do a ten mile race tomorrow...WHAT AM I THINKING?!?! I am not sure but I love it and I am absolutely addicted to this sport and the endurance sport aspect. 

I can't wait for tomorrow and I am super excited and just trying to get my mind wrapped around everything that it will symbolize.  It will symbolize far more than I could ever put into words on this silly blog that I am not sure anyone even reads.  If you are reading this though I thank you and I hope you have found something that you can put your everything into because it feels amazing.

All for now
Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself