Focus On the Good

Since Jersey State Triathlon things have been fairly normal as they go.  I have been on my bike, I have been running, I have been swimming.  Training, hanging, and enjoying my summer, honestly I wouldn't have it any other way.  This summer has been absolutely amazing for so many reasons, I have met some great people who are a part of my life now, I have strengthened some relationships with people I knew and I have reached some goals already as far as racing goes.

When I started this blog, I started it to detail my story in becoming an Ironman.  I try to keep most of my personal life, personal and just keep it to racing.  However this has become my outlet and at times I must use it for just that.  This week I got news that I had lost three people in my life in the course of about four days.  Two of which lost a hard fought battle with cancer and one of which lost their battle with depression.  It is always hard to hear of these things but three in the matter of time that passed rocked my world.

Unfortunately this is not the first time my world has been rocked by the loss of a young life to suicide.  Before I started my journey to Ironman, I lost a great friend to the same thing.  When I learned of this, I began to relive this nightmare all over again.  I felt all of the same emotions, sickness and anxiety that I felt only a few short years ago.  It was hard, it put me down and I didn't even want to come out of my room let alone my house on Monday.  There are a lot of things I carry with me from day to day from the first time I was ever impacted by this disease.  I never thought sitting in high school health classes that my life would be affected by this disease, let alone twice.

Through all of this I have been told something that I have heard a million times and something that I did not really want to hear at this moment.... "Focus on the good." It seemed like everything was right on track and then it spun off so fast.  I had a job lined up, I had everything going right and them boom, It felt like I ran into a wall.  There were complications with the job and that sent me into a tailspin.  I have goals that I want to accomplish and a time line that I need to follow in order to reach those goals.  Knowing that I could possibly not have a full time job and having to cover bills makes me anxious about getting a new bike in order to reach my ultimate dream of becoming an Ironman among so many other things.

Yet I had so many people telling me to focus on the good.  Well this morning I decided to do just that, focus on the good and forget about the rest.  I have a great time at my part time job right now, I am helping people and inspiring people to better their lives, I am having an amazing summer, the list goes on.  Yes I hit some road bumps but I cannot let them derail the things that I am focused on.  I truly believe that I am being tested in order to make the victories taste even sweeter.  I am also making new goals.  In order to reach my goal I have started a Go Fund Me account in order to help offset some of the cost for my bike.  This is a dream that I have shared with so many people and I know that it is something that I cannot do alone.  I ask that if you read this and feel compelled to help please help in anyway that you can, whether it be a donation or just sharing my story for other people to learn about it.  I know I have the support of so many people and I can't thank you all enough, you have been simply amazing and any little thing that you can do to help me will be so greatly appreciated.

Marathon training has started here, looking at races for next year and so many other plans.  I can't thank everyone enough for their support a long this journey.  The messages and praise I receive daily are so rewarding and I thank you all so much.  I wish that I could meet every person who has touched my life and give them a hug, I like hugs.

Until the next time, thank you for everything that all of you do and please keep it up, I appreciate it more than you could ever imagine.


All for now
Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself




I do not post on here on a daily basis but feel free to catch me on other social media!

Congratulations....for what?

Monday 4am and cue the worst wake up call ever....after an extremely incredible weekend with friends I was rudely awakened by a raging ear ache from out of no where. For whatever reason as of some time last year every once and awhile I'll get water stuck in my ear from swimming and it will be annoying but I'll use swim ear stuff and it will go away. Not this, I inew this was something different and I knew I needed to see a doc ASAP. More on that later though. 

I was excited to go to the doc because I knew I hadn't been there since my journey and they would have an accurate account of my progress. When I got there the woman at the desk finally noticed me and said "oh my god you've lost a ton of weight!" I said yes I have and I just gave her a short story and she said congratulations. I was just a little confused.  She didn't have any idea how far I have come, so why would she say that. 

Normally I wouldn't even think twice about this, but my mom brought something up recently and it got me thinking...haha go figure. She asked me how it made me feel when people said things like "you look amazing!" She chuckled and said "what because I lost weight I'm all the sudden a different person?!" And she is 100% right. It's a comment that I have grown to love and hate. I hate it because most people who say it, just say it because they don't know what else to say. If they knew the WHOLE story and it was heartfelt then I would love it. That's one of those times I do love it, when it comes from someone who really knows. 

I don't want to sound like a total ass to those of you who don't know me all that well because that's not the case. I love the compliments, but this woman had no idea what I went through to get to where I am. I do appreciate her compliment but I don't feel as though it was heartfelt. 

Anyway rant over, bottom line I just wish people were either actually truly interested or sometimes didn't say anything at all. Back to this ear ache...it's the second speed bump I have hit since the off season started. First I have my foot all jacked up from these stupid k-Swiss shoes. They were marketed as a "stability" shoe.  Little did I know that they were none of the sort. They didn't have anywhere near the stability I need and it started to cause me pain so I haven't run in god knows how long. Now on top of that I have this ear infection and I can't swim. I am stuck in this rut right now and I can't seem to dig myself out. I am super siked about next season and I can't wait but I gotta shake this funk and I don't know how. 

It's a weird funk, I feel like I am losing old friends yet gaining new ones. I love all of the people that I have met through this amazing new community, I feel like there are some people who don't understand this new "obsession."  I never really had a passion before and triathlons and helping people is it now, without a doubt. I am not saying that everyone should jump on board and go crazy and do a tri, I'm just saying I don't want to lose old friends. Who knows it could just be me, overthinking things.  

Aside from that life is just moving a long here. Student teaching is flying by and I can't believe I only have a month left of school. It's my last month of school ever....until I go back for more. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. 

Regardless of what's going in I thank everyone for the constant support. You guys are my foundation and you keep me going so thank you. I know that I wouldn't be here without any of you. 

All for now

Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself