Demons....

Well post Broad Street run things have seemed to take a turn.  My posts are typically about how things went well or how I can at least take something away from them.  Everyone loves reading about people getting better and good news but this news is not good.  After my weekend away for golf I have not gotten in the training that I know I need to be hitting.  I have been making excuses and shying away from challenges.  The most frustrating part is, I have no idea why.

We all have demons, demons that we live with day to day that have come from various experiences.  As athletes we learn to deal with these challenges and face them head on.  For some of us, me included the training helps rid these demons from our lives.  For whatever reasons these demons have made a triumphed return.  They have affected my training and my mood lately.  I don't train the way I used to and when I do, things seem to go on a downward spiral as the training progresses.

For me it is race week as of today.  In less than seven days I will be taking on my very first olympic distance triathlon in Cape May, NJ.  I have a buddy who always tells me "trust you training and just do what you know how to do."  This is right but without the training I have nothing to trust and I am starting to get nervous about this race.  I know that I can finish the race, but I am not just a finisher.  I need to earn that medal.  I started this journey because for once I can be competitive in something and run with the "big dogs" so to speak.  I am just hoping that come race day I will be able to hang with the big dogs still.

As far as demons go, these race demons seem to come around for every race.  The doubt of can I do this? Will my body hold up? Do I really have what it takes?  I have goals in mind for myself, just as anyone else does.  For this race however I am not going into it with too many goals.  It is my first race at this distance, I need to see how things go on race day.  I know what I have done in training and I will repeat that on race day.  I have had some physical demons that I have been battling in racing and I am just hoping to work the kinks out and really use race week to chill out and get my mind right.

Mock race of .5mi swim, 15 mi bike 3.1 mi run

As for everything else in life, things are going very well.  Memorial Day weekend has just passed and things were awesome.  I had a great weekend with old friends and made some new ones.  This past weekend the weather was beautiful and I had more awesome times and there are sure to be some great times on the horizon.  Aside from being incredibly busy and not having much time to train for racing things are going spectacular.  I know that when I leave for the race on friday all of these things will be gone with the wind.  Has anyone else experienced things like this?  How do you combat these demons? Just know that you are not alone in this and everyone has demons that they must battle in some way, thats what makes this sport as amazing as it is.


Until next time, thank you as always for reading, sharing and commenting!



All for now
Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself










I do not post on here on a daily basis but you can follow my training and other posts here!

One day at a time

When things start to go your way there will always be someone who jumps in and tries to mess it up. It's just part of life and that's part of the challenge or journey. How you handle those things will be what defines you. Do you accept the challenge and face it or do you turn around and run. Take the easy way out, find another avenue and take it because at that time it's just easier. If that's the case, when you look back do you wish you would have not hung up your towel and continued to fight. When it comes to fighting do you fight for something regardless of what's going on? Or do you turn to something or someone else because it's more convenient in that moment? Make your choices carefully. 

For me I am still fighting a fight. I look in the mirror and I am still not where I want I want to be. I want to change things more. I want to cut more here, build more there. I feel like this will be a constant battle though and anyone will agree. As for racing I want to race. More and NOW. With wind chills around 15 degrees here though it's evident that winter is here and it's time for things to officially move inside, so inside I am. I need to continue to tell myself that race season will come and there will be plenty of warm weather to train outside. 

This past weekend I did 800's on Friday because I have a 5k coming up and when it comes to running I LOVE the pain when it comes to doing speed work.  When I first started running I was looking at well over 10:00/mile at least and it was a mix of walk jog even before that. Today I can pump out sub 8 with no problem. But I want MORE!! It took me almost a year to get there...it's going to take time. On Friday when I was done someone asked why I was doing 800's and I told them I had a race on Thursday that I was shooting to do well in. Their response? "I don't train for 5k's I just go out and run sub 22's and I'm good with that." Mind you this is a track and field person. Which is fine and I understand people don't look at races all the same. For me though it's a race and I want to do well, I always want to do well or better my last time even if it's a minimal gain....that's my goal, yours may be different and that's fine. I just don't like when people belittle what I am doing. But hey it happens. 

This 5k will be the last of the year with the temps and weather shift. From there everything moves inside. Today I had a nice run inside, some on the track and some on the treadmill. It frustrates me that I can be such a newb when it comes to training still and determining what I should be doing. I am thankful for the people I have in my life though who help me through every step of the way. 

Nike+ report from today. 

And of course it wouldn't be a run without chocolate milk after!

After my race in AC I was on a bit of a race high still and I decided I wanted to apply to become a part of a team. I thought my journey and solid finish at AC would be enough to just walk on to a team. Unfortunately that was not the case. I have been denied from a few teams already and it was a bit of a reality check. I am not ready for that yet and I got a little too big for my britches. Yes I have a fantastic story but I need more races to prove myself. The one team that I was accepted to made me an offer but unfortunately it's $135 a month to be apart of their team and right now just isn't the time. I'm taking it one day at a time though and keeping my hopes high for becoming a member of Wattie Ink. 

I am excited for things that are coming up and I can't wait to see where this road takes me. I do not post on here daily but if you would like to follow things further I post on twitter, Facebook, and Instagram daily. Links are on the right side of the page. 

Thanks for reading!

All for now. 

Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself