Hitting the Ground Running!

So much to say and so little time!  This is becoming such a common thing for me.  I thought today that it has been ages since I have posted and I am so exhausted but I need to post before I fall asleep.  Things are moving so fast and I know that they are not going to slow down the least bit!  Work, school and training have begun to take over my life.  I am trying to balance everything right now and although it is overwhelming I am having such a great summer so far.

I picked up my bike on Friday!! I was ecstatic the entire day.  I couldn't wait to get out of work and go get my hands on it.  The time came and I went and picked her up from Ron's house.  It was all sparkling and brand new.  I was beside myself.  Ron has been amazing and he took the time to go over things with me when I got there.  He should me everything they did and explained everything to me.  He then hooked me up with everything I needed to get out on the road.  He has just been absolutely incredible and I am so BLESSED to have people in my life like him.  He gave me gear and tools and everything to get on the road.  He could have so easily gotten me in contact with the guy who was selling the bike and just left it at that, but he didn't and he wouldn't!  I have since gone for two rides and I LOVE it, I am absolutely addicted and cannot wait for my race.  I want to ride everyday until it gets here.

 

Here she is, 2010 Trek 2.1 Alpha!

Last week I got a text from a friend asking me to do a 10k trail race with him.  I thought, 10K come on I did the biggest 10 miler in the country, I got this!  Boy was I mistaken!  Let me just tell you how different a trail run in from a road run.  When the race started, I was stuck behind two ladies who were just there shooting the breeze.  I was stuck behind them for almost half of the race.  This killed my time and totally got in my head.  On top of this, we are on the east coast as I may have mentioned before so imgaine how fun a trial run was, post rain storm....  I was so much slower than I anticipated for the race and that got to me.  When I finished I had to stop myself and think, a year ago you would have never done this, and today you came out and conquered it.  That is more than most can say and I am proud of myself for that.  

Here are some sweet socks I got and an awesome running water bottle that I wanted so bad!

This is my attempt at taking a picture while running the race.  The course was beautiful!

As for everything else, life is good.  After last weeks blow out with my old friend we had dinner on Saturday after my race and everything.  From my race I went and worked a private party which was interesting in and of itself.  I saw someone from the facility where I used to work and she acted like we were best buds.  She sat there and talked to me for at least an hour if not longer like no time had past.  Let me just share with you that this chick came up to my care one night and was pounding on my window and telling me "I couldn't do THAT here"  I was a little confused because I wasn't doing anything but whatever haha.  I am always professional especially when I am working so I just went with the flow.  I also hate confrontation so I wasn't about to have any when I was working, whether a private party or not....So back to dinner.  It was AMAZING...again.  We had a great dinner that I made and great drinks and just a great time.  

 

Kabobs and quinoa...perfect!

 

We have been messaging back and forth and I am happy but it still puts me in a bad spot.  I am scared.  Today she didn't respond to me forever and it left me questioning and waiting and I didn't like that.  I am also scared to tell my friends that we have begun talking again.  They saw what happened to me and although I feel so incredibly distant from them now for so many reasons I feel like they still care and don't want to see that happen again.  On Saturday one of my very good friends called me and asked me to come over and I was so scared to tell them that I couldn't because we were having dinner.  First of all I always want to do too many things at once and I hate telling people no I can't because I feel like I am letting them down.  On top of that I was just so scared to tell them WHY and I don't want to mess anything up again.  I just hope I didn't.  Aside from that things have been good and I feel like I am getting to that spot where I have wanted to me for so long.  

On Friday I got a text from an amazing friend, it read:

"Was talking with your parents earlier! We are so proud of you for the dedication you put in to losing weight!  It's going to even further fuel the inspiration that you will have for the kids you teach someday!"

This made me feel amazing and I can't even put into words how great it was to read.  The point of this blog is to get things off my chest and off my mind.  However I hope that if you are reading it, it reaches you the way others have reached me.  Whether it inspires you or helps you keep going, I just hope it helps you get through whatever it is you are trying to get through.  So many people have helped me through this and I want to give back ten fold.  

 

Last night I went to get some bathing suits because I have none that fit anymore.  It's funny because the guy I ran with has been on a journey that is even greater than mine.  He has inspired me incredibly.  Post race we were having a conversation and we both agreed that losing weight is great but people don't understand how frustrating it is to try and get dressed when you have nothing that fits!  So i grabbed a few bathing suits in the size I thought I was.   Well I went and tried them on and THEY DIDN'T FIT!  So I went back again and got some more....Size 34 from a 40...it felt absolutely incredible.  After shopping I went for pizza and beer with my friend at an amazing little spot she found.  All craft beer on draft and they make their own pizza.  It was basically heaven for me.  We had another great time and I really enjoyed the dinner.  It's incredible what the little things can do for you!

Today I went for a ride and it made me feel amazing.  No music, no nothing, just me and the road.  It helped me clear my head and really get things on track.  I can't thank everyone enough, it is probably annoying by now but seriously thank you everyone for your support.  Along with that thank you to the person who got me started.  You have been incredible and I am eternally grateful for everything you have done for me and continue to do.  You're the man!

Post ride today!

It is time for me to sign off and head to bed.  Thank you all for reading and I hope you are enjoying the sun between the rain drops if you are on the east coast!

All for now

Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself

Summer is in full swing here!

Well things are in full swing here and if I thought I was busy during school, I ain't seen nothing yet!  Everything is picking up at this point but I love it for some reason.  I love the summer as I have said in previous posts.  It is my absolute favorite time of year.  We have a vacation on deck here very soon and I am getting super excited for that.  We go away with my family, my grandparents and my aunts family.  All of us some how fit in one RV and one pop up camper in a camp ground and it is a guaranteed good time for everyone!

It is starting to hit how close my race is getting and I am actually starting to get a little nervous.  I know it is bound to happen and there will be times where I look like a complete rookie I am sure.  I have never done a tri before and if you read my post about Broad Street, you know I am good at sticking out like a sore thumb whether I think I am or not.  All of that aside, I am super excited for it and can't wait!

If you have been following these posts at all you know that I was struggling with funding my classes for this summer.  Well I put my big boy pants on and got everything taken care of and I am through my first week of class.  Yes everything worked out and I have class two days a week right now for 4 hours each night.  The class is Teaching English Language Learners to boot....yeah stick a needle in my eye to say the least.  It is just a little hump that stand between me and student teaching and then becoming a physical education teacher.  I CANNOT wait to fulfill that dream and work with children. 

I do not have my bike yet and I am starting to get a little worried.  I have been riding in spin classes and on spin bikes etc. to help prepare.  I have never ridden a rode bike though and I have just about three months to get acclimated to the whole thing.  I am a little nervous about the clip in pedals and working the gears and riding on the road next to cars and trucks etc.  In the same breath I am so excited to get out on the road though and get riding!  Hopefully I will have my bike before we leave so I cant ride when I am down in South Carolina.

If you remember how excited I was about the jump rope I purchased you will also find enjoyment in this post.  I just bought a cheap $4 Walmart special to get started.  The other day I went to the park I always go to and I took it with me.  I thought to myself THIS is the day, I am going to teach myself how to do this.  So I bit the bullet and tried it.  I sucked...no surprise.  I didn't stop though, I kept trying and trying and trying.  Yes I failed quite a few times but when I did ten in a row I practically jumped out of my skin.  In the past I have always quit when things got tough.  If I struggled with a jump rope in PE class or where ever I was, I would just stop.  I have gone back and tried it multiple times since this day with success and I love it.  I can feel myself getting better each time and it is an incredible feeling.  Success is one of the greatest feelings and I won't give up until I can do double unders and speed rope!

My uncles service was on Sunday and it was a day filled with a million and a half emotions.  It was bittersweet for me because I got to see family who I haven't seen since my grandmother passed back in 2009.  Things went a little south with that side of the family so we don't talk to them much anymore, if any at all.  Last night I was hanging out and I got a message from one of my cousins(it was his father that passed).  He wanted to thank me for coming and also commend me on what I had been doing.  I have looked up to this cousin since I was a little kid and I absolutely think the world of him for so many reasons.  One he lives in Cali and totally embraces the lifestyle.  When I was out there with him, I had such a great time.  Second he graduated from the US Naval Academy.  He is now a US Marine and is ranked one of the top in the country for what he can do in sharp shooting.  When he messaged me he said:

"I think from your posts (pics of healthily food and marathon) you have been on a mission. Really proud of you. Not that you lost weight but much much more...that your determination and focus got you to accomplish what you set out to do.  Listen any body can lose weight. But you cant apply that action to anything else. Your determination, focus and will power to get it done are the lessons and awareness that are much more important to learn cuz those traits can be applied to anything and everything you do. So Awesome."

Wow is all I have to say.  I was completely beside myself.  I think he was one of the first people who said ANYTHING like that.  He hit the nail on the head.  I just don't even know what to say still even to this minute.   It was just absolutely incredible to hear something that powerful, especially from someone who you have looked up to for so many years.

Today was rough from the start for me.  Ever since I finished my bottle of thermo, I can't seem to get going in the morning.  I like how it gets me up and going, however I don't like how I can't find that motivation when I am not using it.  I woke up to realize I had forgotten about homework for my class so I made breakfast and took care of that.  

Breakfast today was steak and egg whites along with a sliced apple and a coco cafe coffee.

After this I headed out to class for the afternoon, as much as I did not want to be there.  Today wasn't all that bad however and we got out an hour early!  

After that it was off to the park again.  I was going to do some weights or swim today but then I remembered it was National Running day, so naturally I had to go for a run!  It wasn't my best run ever but I still got in a little over 45 minutes and when you have zero motivation, finishing 5 miles and some change feels great.

I thought I had everything figured out with my friend after last weekend.  We had such an amazing time and I could really see things coming back around.  Yes I was scared, naturally, but I was excited at the same time.  Anyone would be scared to get back into something after being out so long so that is only natural.  (Naturally crash my party by Luke Bryan would come on pandora as I write this) So i thought things were good and we were making steps in the right direction.  Until today....Back in September I got a new phone with a new phone number and she doesn't have it.  All of our communicating has been through Facebook.  Is this normal? No probably not, but I don't think things have ever been "normal" for the two of us.  I was good with the way things were going and communicating the way we were.  I am someone who needs to take things slowly and one day at a time.  Things ended very bad between us and we were both equally as mean to one another when things ended.  For this reason I needed to take things slow...She didn't want to do that and she doesn't understand why we have to talk via facebook.  (Now Hunter Hayes I Want Crazy....seriously?! is someone messing with me?) So a year and a half later since we have broken up I still haven't found someone who makes me feel the way she did.  I haven't found someone who I think is equally as beautiful, fun, crazy....anything.  There are still days that I literally think about her every minute of every hour.  That being said I can't jump right back to where I was.  I just need to take things slow, but I don't think she wants to do that and it is absolutely killing me.  I don't think there is someone who knows me inside and out better.  It kills me to not have her in my life and I don't know what to do about it.....She said she isn't going to talk to me anymore unless I call her and she hasn't responded to me since.  I don't like this and I just hope that everything works out the way it is supposed to, she was really mad and I have no idea why....

This weekend is going to be crazy busy, followed by an insane week before I leave for the beach.  I am house sitting this weekend for a buddy of mine.  I am also guarding a pool for a graduation party for another friend and I have to go to a lifeguard inservice on Sunday evening.  This is all followed by a 5:15 opening shift on the first day of the new swim session on Monday morning!  YEEEEHAAAAW!! Boy am I going to be ready to get away by next Friday that's for sure.

Hope everyone had a great National Running day! I am off to bed so that I can wake up and lift before work tomorrow morning, can't stop, won't stop!  I will see you all again the next time but until then I will leave you with this:

All for now

Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself 

ps this might be the longest post to date and I apologize!

And so it begins...

Where to start where to start? The million dollar shot so to speak for all of my posts. So much to say and yet no idea how to put it all on paper, or computer screen I guess is what this is. I am sitting in my house with no power due to this wonderful storm ripping through Chester county PA. This is the storm I was waiting for all day sitting at work, but it never came. Go figure it arrives now when I would like to head to sleep but I can't being as I am like the princess and the pea when it comes to sleeping arrangements. I need a tv on, something sports related preferably, fan blasting right on my face, iPhone sleep app which plays songs and a few other planets to be aligned to have a good nights sleep. All which require a power source... Being as I can't have the previously mentioned I decided to take to the Internet to reflect on the days events. It was a fairly mundane Thursday for me. I went to work at 9am sharp and was there until somewhere around 8pm. Yes there was a lot of coffee involved to get me through this shift. 

This is our last week of group swim lessons before we get things kicked off for the summer and it has been a bittersweet week for me. If you go back through the archives of the blog you'll learn about my terrific day mid week and about how I lost my uncle. That hasn't helped but it also hasn't truly sunk in yet. Along with that it is the closure to my first year of school long lessons at my current club. This was something I needed to get used to. At previous clubs I worked on sessions that only lasted somewhere around 8 weeks. After that 8 weeks was over, I wrote report cards and said my goodbyes to some students. Most would return and others would not. At this club however I have had the same students since the fall when school started. This has been a great opportunity for me on many levels. It gave me a taste of what it will be like when I am teaching physical education in a school setting. I will have the same students for the length of the school year. So I had a great chance to build some relationships with students and parents. On the other hand there are always students you have difficulty reaching. I am sure any teacher will agree with this statement. You have students that it seems no matter how hard you try, they just don't want to be there. This can be challenging especially when it comes to teaching a life saving skill such as swimming. It was a great opportunity for me though and I am happy that I had this experience even with some of the challenges it brought forth in the day to day teaching. 

As I sit here with no power I find myself reflecting yet again. A lot of my friends are in town and they decided they wanted to, well you guessed it, go to the bar. I suggested a little joint that only charges $3 for whatever drink your order and has free shuffle board. Shuffle board brings back some great childhood memories for me and I'm not one for a huge bar scene anymore. They decided to go for a more college feel and so I declined to go. It's not my thing anymore for multiple reasons as outlined in previous posts and I am ok with that. I just surely wish there were other activities that were an option to see old friends that weren't centered around drinking. While I was away last weekend someone had brought up going out and my buddy said his "social life significantly struggled" since I had made this decision. Although he said it jokingly, part of me feels like it might have a little truth behind it. I have no interest in going to the bar and getting slammed only to wake up the next day wonder, what the heck happened last night?? However I don't want to hold people back from going out and having a good time. So I hope that is not the case by any means.  

One of my buddies walked across the street to say what's up and the conversation just felt awkward. I felt like I didn't know what to say and it seemed as though he may have felt the same way. I don't want to lose good friends because I don't have an interest in going out, but I also don't want to give up on the goals I have set for myself. I just wish there was a road in the middle that made this a little easier. 

Tomorrow I have yoga on tap in the AM probably followed up with 2,000-2,500 yds in the pool. My focus is on my race in September for right now. I have decided that I want to place in the top tier for my age group and I think it is a realistic goal for myself. (Power is back on so that's good!) It is funny because when I mentioned something about placing as a 23 year old in my race, someone responded with "they didn't care about competitive swimming as a 23 year old" which is fine but a little support would be cool. I have my goals just as anyone else and I don't think they need to be the same for anyone, actually they should be quite different from individual to individual but help a brotha out!

Memorial Day weekend is on tap and I don't have to work which is a great feeling being as I have busted my tail a bit this week. I say I am going to do yoga but I need to bite the bullet and head to the bank tomorrow as well before I have to go to work. I have decided I need to throw on my big boy pants and take out a loan for these summer courses. I don't really have any other option and I can't ask anyone else for the help. Not do I have anyone who will give me the cash I need to get these classes out of the way. 

I feel stuck in a rut here that I can't shake. I find myself thinking of the past when I need to focus on what's current and the future. It's a little more easier said than done though. Being as the power has kicked back on I am going to try to take this golden opportunity to try and get some sleep. I am going to bed with an open mind that tomorrow WILL be a better day and I will get everything figured out for this summer. Hope everyone enjoys there long holiday weekend! Thanks again for reading. 

All for now

Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself