It is starting to hit how close my race is getting and I am actually starting to get a little nervous. I know it is bound to happen and there will be times where I look like a complete rookie I am sure. I have never done a tri before and if you read my post about Broad Street, you know I am good at sticking out like a sore thumb whether I think I am or not. All of that aside, I am super excited for it and can't wait!
If you have been following these posts at all you know that I was struggling with funding my classes for this summer. Well I put my big boy pants on and got everything taken care of and I am through my first week of class. Yes everything worked out and I have class two days a week right now for 4 hours each night. The class is Teaching English Language Learners to boot....yeah stick a needle in my eye to say the least. It is just a little hump that stand between me and student teaching and then becoming a physical education teacher. I CANNOT wait to fulfill that dream and work with children.
I do not have my bike yet and I am starting to get a little worried. I have been riding in spin classes and on spin bikes etc. to help prepare. I have never ridden a rode bike though and I have just about three months to get acclimated to the whole thing. I am a little nervous about the clip in pedals and working the gears and riding on the road next to cars and trucks etc. In the same breath I am so excited to get out on the road though and get riding! Hopefully I will have my bike before we leave so I cant ride when I am down in South Carolina.
If you remember how excited I was about the jump rope I purchased you will also find enjoyment in this post. I just bought a cheap $4 Walmart special to get started. The other day I went to the park I always go to and I took it with me. I thought to myself THIS is the day, I am going to teach myself how to do this. So I bit the bullet and tried it. I sucked...no surprise. I didn't stop though, I kept trying and trying and trying. Yes I failed quite a few times but when I did ten in a row I practically jumped out of my skin. In the past I have always quit when things got tough. If I struggled with a jump rope in PE class or where ever I was, I would just stop. I have gone back and tried it multiple times since this day with success and I love it. I can feel myself getting better each time and it is an incredible feeling. Success is one of the greatest feelings and I won't give up until I can do double unders and speed rope!
My uncles service was on Sunday and it was a day filled with a million and a half emotions. It was bittersweet for me because I got to see family who I haven't seen since my grandmother passed back in 2009. Things went a little south with that side of the family so we don't talk to them much anymore, if any at all. Last night I was hanging out and I got a message from one of my cousins(it was his father that passed). He wanted to thank me for coming and also commend me on what I had been doing. I have looked up to this cousin since I was a little kid and I absolutely think the world of him for so many reasons. One he lives in Cali and totally embraces the lifestyle. When I was out there with him, I had such a great time. Second he graduated from the US Naval Academy. He is now a US Marine and is ranked one of the top in the country for what he can do in sharp shooting. When he messaged me he said:
"I think from your posts (pics of healthily food and marathon) you have
been on a mission. Really proud of you. Not that you lost weight but
much much more...that your determination and focus got you to accomplish
what you set out to do. Listen any body can lose weight. But you cant apply that action to
anything else. Your determination, focus and will power to get it done
are the lessons and awareness that are much more important to learn cuz
those traits can be applied to anything and everything you do. So
Awesome."
Wow is all I have to say. I was completely beside myself. I think he was one of the first people who said ANYTHING like that. He hit the nail on the head. I just don't even know what to say still even to this minute. It was just absolutely incredible to hear something that powerful, especially from someone who you have looked up to for so many years.
Today was rough from the start for me. Ever since I finished my bottle of thermo, I can't seem to get going in the morning. I like how it gets me up and going, however I don't like how I can't find that motivation when I am not using it. I woke up to realize I had forgotten about homework for my class so I made breakfast and took care of that.
Breakfast today was steak and egg whites along with a sliced apple and a coco cafe coffee.
After this I headed out to class for the afternoon, as much as I did not want to be there. Today wasn't all that bad however and we got out an hour early!
After that it was off to the park again. I was going to do some weights or swim today but then I remembered it was National Running day, so naturally I had to go for a run! It wasn't my best run ever but I still got in a little over 45 minutes and when you have zero motivation, finishing 5 miles and some change feels great.
I thought I had everything figured out with my friend after last weekend. We had such an amazing time and I could really see things coming back around. Yes I was scared, naturally, but I was excited at the same time. Anyone would be scared to get back into something after being out so long so that is only natural. (Naturally crash my party by Luke Bryan would come on pandora as I write this) So i thought things were good and we were making steps in the right direction. Until today....Back in September I got a new phone with a new phone number and she doesn't have it. All of our communicating has been through Facebook. Is this normal? No probably not, but I don't think things have ever been "normal" for the two of us. I was good with the way things were going and communicating the way we were. I am someone who needs to take things slowly and one day at a time. Things ended very bad between us and we were both equally as mean to one another when things ended. For this reason I needed to take things slow...She didn't want to do that and she doesn't understand why we have to talk via facebook. (Now Hunter Hayes I Want Crazy....seriously?! is someone messing with me?) So a year and a half later since we have broken up I still haven't found someone who makes me feel the way she did. I haven't found someone who I think is equally as beautiful, fun, crazy....anything. There are still days that I literally think about her every minute of every hour. That being said I can't jump right back to where I was. I just need to take things slow, but I don't think she wants to do that and it is absolutely killing me. I don't think there is someone who knows me inside and out better. It kills me to not have her in my life and I don't know what to do about it.....She said she isn't going to talk to me anymore unless I call her and she hasn't responded to me since. I don't like this and I just hope that everything works out the way it is supposed to, she was really mad and I have no idea why....
This weekend is going to be crazy busy, followed by an insane week before I leave for the beach. I am house sitting this weekend for a buddy of mine. I am also guarding a pool for a graduation party for another friend and I have to go to a lifeguard inservice on Sunday evening. This is all followed by a 5:15 opening shift on the first day of the new swim session on Monday morning! YEEEEHAAAAW!! Boy am I going to be ready to get away by next Friday that's for sure.
Hope everyone had a great National Running day! I am off to bed so that I can wake up and lift before work tomorrow morning, can't stop, won't stop! I will see you all again the next time but until then I will leave you with this:
All for now
Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself
ps this might be the longest post to date and I apologize!
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