Saturday, May 11, 2013

Changes, Changes, and more CHANGES!

So it is Saturday May 11, 2013...I can't believe how this week flew by and with summer on our heels I know that the weeks are only going to go faster and faster.  This is quite alright with me because I am the type of person who does not like to wait for things that I know are coming and are so close.  I cannot wait to be in a spot where I am comfortable with my body(yes I am getting there, more about that later) and I also can't wait for my race in September.

It is getting to be that time where I don't feel like I am up to speed with my friends.  Everyone is talking about their awesome job opportunities, graduation, and etc.  Me you ask?  I still have classes to take over the summer, Exams to take for my certification and so much more.  As they have all these things to be excited about I feel like I have to take the back seat because I don't have anything nearly as exciting going on right now.  Stop! Before you even say it, yes I know my time will come.  If I had a dollar for every time I heard that or something like it, I wouldn't need to look for a job upon graduation.  I am just venting, which is the point of this blog and this outlet...

So it's Saturday, why aren't I out with these friends I speak of?  Well I don't go out much anymore, if at all.  It isn't because I don't like to have a good time, I love having a good time just as much as the next guy.  I had an AMAZING time last weekend from the minute I left work on Friday to the minute I woke up on Monday morning.  I do however limit my drinking to little or none, which stems from multiple reasons.  If you read through previous posts, you know that alcohol really isn't my friend.  Yes I can have a drink and enjoy the social aspect of having a drink.  I do not have an interest to go to the bar anymore and get blackout silly however and I am still working on finding that balance.  It is a little scary... The other day I was driving and I started to reflect(me THINKING?! no never).  There was a point last year where I went to a family party...let me stress a family party.  All i could think of was getting drunk.  Not just drunk and laughing and having a good time with family, but getting DRUNK.  I found my self sneaking around and hiding drinks etc so no one knew how much I had to drink.  That's a little scary if you look back on it.  The good thing that came of it however was that I can look back now and say, no I am not going back to the way I was.  Do I have to run away from drinking and having a good time? No but I need to work on finding that balance.

Now on to today!  Today was a great day from start to finish as well.  Is it any surprise that these good days are coming more often and more natural now?  Probably not.  Today I was at work and it felt like all of my parents of my students were noticing me.  I got so MANY compliments and it felt amazing!  They were raining their praise on my and I loved it, then again who doesn't love a good compliment now and again?!?!

As for my workout...WOW!! That is all I have to say.  It was simply amazing!  I love the cardio acceleration aspect.  People have been looking at me like I am nuts and that makes me go even harder.  When I left I snapped a couple pics as I have been doing throughout this journey just to keep track of where I was and how far I have come.  For the first time I looked at them and could really see a difference.  I can see my body changing and transforming into something new and it is so rewarding.  Finally!  All the hard work and hours spent in the gym and kitchen are paying off!  My mom actually laughed at me a little when I reached for my scale to measure out dinner for tonight.  After she was done laughing she said I guess that's why you have been so successful at this!  This is so true!  I have become dedicated to what I am doing and I am ok with the people who laugh at it.  At the end of the day I am doing something I love and something I am proud of and that is all that matters.

I also took my Praxis II exam which is a step towards being done.  I am awaiting the official results from it and it is unsettling.  I finished the test very quickly (they schedule you for 2.5 hours but it took me about 1).  This could be a good sign, because I have learned in my assessment class that if you know the material and it is a well designed test, it shouldn't take you long.   Let's keep our fingers crossed I am one step closer to being able to go out and help children!

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I will be up and out early getting coffee and flowers for mom before I am off to work for the day.  Gotta take care of the people who support you!  The people who support you in whatever it may be that you are doing will become your "ride or die" crew and you will see how important they are. 

Whatever you are doing, do it to your absolute best.  Know that you are not alone in your fight and there is someone, somewhere who has gone through what you are going through and they are willing to help!

All for now
Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself

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