Tuesday, May 21, 2013

When it rains it pours...

If you read my post from yesterday afternoon you would have thought that I was on top of the world. Well just as fast as I went up, I came back down. It's been a hell of a day that's for sure. 

It started yesterday when I got home from work. There was a bill from school, which obviously I knew was coming. I have to take two classes this summer so that I can graduate in the fall and pursue my dream of teaching physical education. However, it is going to cost money to go to school in the summer and that isn't covered by financial aid.  At this point you may be thinking, you're still young, why not ask your parents for help. You're right, I am and my family isn't wealthy by any definition of the word.  Cue more bad news... My father is out of a job right now and I don't know where I am going to get the money to get these classes out of the way. By taking class that limits my work schedule which in turn limits my income. I have no clue where I'm going to get the money to cover this and it's causing me sooooo much stress. Not to mention it's making my schedule for summer a nightmare. 

Just as you thought it ended there, it doesn't. We got a call last night that my uncle had passed away. So just pile it on. The emotion train is rolling and it ain't stopping there.  I thought that more people would be here for me during this time, but I think I have gotten a total of 2-3 texts from friends sending their condolences.  I woke up this morning, in a terrible mood and just wanted to put everything behind me and get a solid workout in. Without even thinking I grabbed a bottle and took what I thought was my morning supplements... and then I realized I just took a freaking sleeping pill instead of my supplements that I usually take. Genius right? Yeah I know...

It's just been one if those days where it feels like if there is something that could go wrong, it did. My heart was literally pounding out of my chest and I needed to get to the gym. I feel at home in the gym but I feel even more at home in the water. I just jumped in and started going. Water is amazing and it cleanses me of everything going on and it's just me and the water at that moment. It's funny how it all works. 

After my swim I was still feeling off but I had to go to work. I got there and gathered all my equipment and got my happy face on. Working with kids has taught me that you can't show them anything but happy and you have to stay on your A game. I'm not saying hide all emotions but you need to leave everything at the door. It's incredible what children can do for you. As soon as I started they completely changed my mood around. They are AMAZING and I have the best time in the world with them. One of my parents actually came up to me after his son's lesson and shook my hand. He said "thanks for everything that you've done, we really appreciate it." Talk about an amazing feeling, when you touch the life of a child, you just can't compare it to anything else. My student gave me an awesome card that he made with a picture of me on it! It was just an irreplaceable moment all around that I really needed. 

My pretty crappy day turned around slightly but I'm just trying to maintain at this point. I gotta find my spot again, that place where I can live care free for awhile.  It is my absolute DREAM to move to California.  I want to live there and teach physical education. I want to have crazy long hair and surf everyday and compete at a competitive level in triathlons. I want to teach parents and students about the importance of being physically active and healthy. I know you're reading this and I want to thank YOU for bringing this back into the forefront. I will stop at nothing until I reach this goal.  Thanks for letting me vent. Hope y'all had a better day than I did, sure wouldn't take much. Keep it up and thanks for reading. 

All for now
Keep FSU and Do It For Yourself

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